An “Unwanted Label” is Redundant

“What year are you in again?” I withheld a groan. Here it comes.

            “Freshman.” The career services lady stared at me blankly while she registered her shock. I waited patiently while she recovered.

         “Freshman?! Well, it’s a little early for you to be here…” her words made me clench my jaw. I’d received skepticism for being a freshman before. More than a few times.

            I have what I like to call OPD- Obsessive Planning Disorder. I contribute it to a paranoia I have that can only be placated by deciding my whole life from now until death. All I can do is give in, which lands me in situations such as these with the distraught career services employee.

            “Well, I can give you a personality test to help you determine what you want to major in,” she said sweetly, pulling some sheets from a file. I could see that this meeting was going to get worse before it got better. If it got better.

            “I already know what I want to major in…I’m actually interested in taking some career tests,” I plastered a smile on my face. I could feel her disdain growing with every breath I took. Generally, freshman didn’t go near the career center with a ten foot pole. They are too undecided, and as I freshman I must, too, be undecided about what direction I want to take in life.

“I am going to dual major in English and Economics.” If only OPD were certifiable so that she would understand. She smiled and her eyebrows shot up.

“Wow. That’s a lot.” Doubt dripped from every word. Suddenly I felt myself reduced to the clueless freshman that made rash decisions and changed my mind more times than I blink.

Granted, people my age do change their minds a lot. The point is that in the next three years of my life I am not going to go from a complete novice to an experienced, old wise woman. Just because I have been given the label “Freshman” over “Sophomore,” “Junior,” or “Senior” does not make me automatically less mature, prior to contrary belief.  

My advisor’s reaction was similarly shocked when I handed her a list of virtually every class I am going to take through graduation. When the initial shock subsided, she professed her love for my ability to plan. I like her. I think I’ll go back to visit her after I graduate GMU with my Master’s in Human Resource Management.

College Potties

If a shudder ran down your spine upon reading the title to this post, that was the appropriate response.

My resident hall is called Virginia- also the state I live in so when I get asked
"Where do you live?" and answer
"Virginia," the general response is
"No, I mean what resident hall do you live in?"
Virginia. I live in Virginia.

Anyways, Virginia houses around 200 girls and has hall bathrooms. I just want to take a moment to cover some of the glorious perks of these luxurious college bathrooms:

1) Toilets.
When flushing, it's recommended to jump out of the way before the cold toilet water splashes your legs. There is little I can compare to the experience of throwing myself into the stall door to stay dry after wrenching myself out of bed for my blessed morning classes.

2) Showers.
When someone flushes and you are in the shower, jump out of the water while it momentarily turns scalding hot. Don't touch the shower curtain either while you're at it- you don't know where it's been. And don't want to know.

I believe that these are tactics the University is using in an undercover operation to get our reflexes moving quickly to ensure survival when the world ends in 2012 and we all have to move underground. It's working- when I went home last weekend I jumped out of my shower when I heard the toilet flush in the other bathroom.

3) Sinks.
The protocol for sinks is Don't Ask. You really do not want to know what new unidentifiable substance is in there. I promise. Just prepare yourself by clamping down on your gag reflex before you reach that side of the bathroom.

4) The Bathroom Trivia Game:
Which stall won't be out of toilet paper? Whichever one you check last.

5) Smells.
Does the whole hall smell like bleach? The answer to this question will tell you wether or not the bathroom has been cleaned recently.

6) Paper Towels.
Without them, our pants become towels. Just like at that crappy restaurant hangout you were at all the time in high school.

7) Floors.
The Virginia Hall bathroom floors have been wet since the dawn of time and will be until 2012 when all the buildings melt. Accept it. Embrace it. Don't wear socks in there (Unless you like mushy feet- that's your prerogative).